Last week at our Thursday night meeting for Isagenix, I was asked my very well known up line coach, my sister and I would speak to her group about our weight loss journey and exercise next Thursday (being tonight). I was completely mortified! I do not speak in front of people, I'm very shy and that is way out of my comfort zone. Of course we said yes but this has been on my mind ever since.
I started thinking about what my "why" was for how I got into fitness and healthy living. I never understood the power of your "why" until I started thinking back to when it really changed for me.
It was back in High School. My Senior year I got pregnant by my boyfriend I was dating pretty heavily at the time. A lot of wrong choices that got me to where I was a few years ago. I struggled with being in high school and pregnant. All the staring, and whispering, and questions I got was a lot for a girl in high school to handle. I got married to my boyfriend and my daughters father the spring of my Senior year. With all the stress of being pregnant and married now and in school took its toll on me. Shortly after I graduated my husband at the time became very abusive verbally and emotionally. He would leave me alone with newborn while he went out all night with his friends because he said it was my fault he doesn't get to be a teenager anymore. Being raised by a strong mother, I just took on the role as a single mom basically raising my children. At this point in my life I had gained 90 lbs. I was 105 in high school and after my first baby I weighed close 190.
As the years went on we had 3 more children. With each child the abuse was growing stronger and getting more and more physical. I was naive and thought if we had more children he would love me more. Not the case! With all the put downs and comments and never being home, never helping, never allowing me to see my family or friends without recourse later was taking its toll on my body. After my third child, things to a turn for the worst. Our finances were being strained by my husbands activities outside the home to a point where we were losing our home. I would beg him for money to buy coats and clothes and food for my kids, yet he refused. This was about the time I was introduced to Isagenix the first time by a good friend of mine. Back then it didn't taste so good. They only had a 9 day cleanse and it tasted like dirt. I had been on just about every diet out there to try to gain some confidence back. Since about the third year of marriage to this man, I had always been looking for ways to empower myself. With all his negativity, I wanted to free myself more or less from his control. I had taught myself how to build websites, network, become affiliated with companies online to make money, started 2 online companies and joined every network marketing company just to try to have some support somewhere more than anything. I didn't have confidence in myself while I was with him to have a good go at anything I was doing.
I was kicked out of my house by him 2 weeks before Christmas and I was pregnant with out fourth child. He took all our access to money, broke my computer, changed all the locks on me so I couldn't get anything out of my house for my children and he left on a fishing trip with his friends. At this point in my life I was pushing 195. We had Christmas with my sister that year and her ward donated so much to me and my kids. I moved in with my parents for a few months and they were trying to help me get on my feet.
In March of the following year, I was due to have my 4th child. Magically my husband appears and says he wants to be a family and take me home. I fell for it. For another 6 months I fell for his lies and deceit. This time moving me even farther away from my family. It didn't last long. After 7 months of him going back to the same stuff he was doing before I finally decided to leave for good. At the time I was struggling to do weight watchers and watching what we eat. But with a 280 lb 6'3" husband who loved fast food and controlled our money, it was very difficult to diet. When I finally did decide to leave for good I was down to about 155lbs.
I immediately went and filed for divorce and moved out of there. My family came and moved me out in one day. I moved back in with my mom and dad. After a lot of talking with my mom and sister and friends I started to get some self confidence back. After being told "nobody would ever want me, a fat single mom of 4 kids," that was my WHY! I was empowered by that. I dropped about 30 lbs in 2 months from eating better and without all the stress and depression I was going through. After having to deal with him about our children and him seeing me losing weight he was all for taking me back again. He was pretty creepy to be around. I was looking good and I had confidence and I don't think he liked it.
I met my new husband about 2 months after I got divorced and we dated a bit. He was wonderful! I finally knew what it felt like to be treated right. I had prayed every night for a specific type of man I wanted to meet for my kids. When I met him is was surreal. He was everything had asked for! My new husband had had troubles getting pregnant with his first wife and never was able to have a child of his own. After i had lost all this weight he asked me if i would ever have another baby. I told him no, but my mom said it wouldn't be fair to marry him if that whats he wanted and I didn't give him one. We got married in November of 2009 and got pregnant the following January. I was terrified I was going to gain all that weight back so I tried to be good with my eating. My entire pregnancy I only gained 23 lbs. I was stoked!
After my 5th child, my skin wasn't bouncing back like it had and the weight wasn't coming off. A friend of mine had me go to her gym with her and try it out. I loved it. We started going to the gym religiously for a year and half. But guess what? I had gone back to bad habits of eating fast food after the gym. I was drinking 1-2 32oz diet cokes a day. My body just wasn't changing! My dad is a strength coach and had trained my sister and she had amazing results. I finally asked my dad to train me. I wanted to lose, I wanted to tone and I wanted to look good at the pool. So my dad took me under his wing and for 3 months trained me on weight lifting. I started seeing results, the people at the gym started seeing results, but my pant size wasn't changing!
I started working at Lady Fitness and I met my good friend Taylor. She reintroduced me to Isagenix and I flat out told her no! I had done it once before, it was gross and it didn't work. (I hadn't actually taken more than a sip before throwing it away) She started bringing me things to try at work and practicing the comp plan on me when it was slow. I finally decided, what the heck, I want to try to get passed my 7/8 pant size. After being on the products for 3 weeks I had dropped from a size 7/8 to a size 2! I was stoked.
About the same time I started Isagenix, I started this blog for my fitness stuff with my dad. I had revised it so many times. I finally know now why I started it. It was my "WHY". I wanted to be better than I was yesterday. I wanted to inspire people struggling like I had, and to be proud of me. I wanted my kids and my husband to look up to me for sticking to something! My blog was the perfect outlet to keep me motivated and accountable and share my story with other people. I have turned my fitness blog into my IsaBody Challenge and Isagenix blog which has brought me in front of people I don't even know, asking me what i do. I am so grateful for the words my ex husband said to me, to give me my first "Why". And I'm so grateful that Isagenix has helped me with my 2nd "Why"! It's helping others feel good about themselves. To be positive and aspire to higher things, no matter their circumstances. To be a part of wonderful friendships and Community we have in Isagenix. I want my family to have a better quality of life financially, and physically!
The exercise and Isagenix together have been such a blessing to me in more ways than weight loss and my physical appearance. It has given me a different experience in meeting new people, feeling a part of something bigger than myself, and wanting to become a better person than I was yesterday!
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